A Hat Between Friends
by Oldies127
Summary: Murdock loved his hat for what it reminded him of. This is a story of how Murdock got his beloved cap.


**Disclaimer: I do not own the A-Team.**

 **Author's Note: *indicate flashbacks with** _ **italics**_ **.* Just** _ **italics**_ **is the letter. I wrote this story to show how I think Murdock got his hat. I hope you enjoy, and please review.**

It had been 471 days since the first day he had been locked up here. That was about 67 weeks.

Murdock sat on his bed in his room at the Veteran's Administration Psychiatric Hospital. Murdock hugged himself, pulling his flight jacket tighter around him. He felt so exposed, so alone.

The hospital had done shit for him. He had been sedated 33 times. That was about once every two weeks. The doctors would have weekly sessions with Murdock. For one session, they would get nowhere, the session after that, Murdock would be exhausted. The doctor would try to still go through the session, asking him why he was so tired, but within five minutes, the doc would call in orderlies to bring Murdock back to his room, and pump him full of sedatives. It was a vicious cycle. One session getting nowhere, the next resulting in Murdock being drugged.

One thing Murdock hated about the drugs is they wouldn't let him escape his nightmares. They were like sealing him in a room, and welding the doors closed.

When Murdock fell asleep under his own power, he could wake up before his nightmares got too bad, but with the sedatives, they kept him asleep, and he had to go through the whole thing. He had woken up screaming 11 times from his nightmares. The hospital's solution was to give him more sedatives, which made the problem worse.

Murdock pulled his coat tighter around him, trying to tether himself to reality, trying to keep himself from floating off to the thick green jungles of Vietnam.

 _Knock! Knock! Knock!_ Sounded like bullets to Murdock. _Bang! Bang! Bang!_

Murdock jerked his head towards the door. He wanted to scream for them to go away, he had been tortured enough, but that was Vietnam. Half of his brain told him he was in Vietnam, the other half knew it wasn't true. Murdock bit his tongue, hard enough to draw blood, trying to get rid of the green jungles, wanting to see the sterile white walls. He wanted to see anything but green.

"Y-y-y-yes?" Murdock's voice was more shaky than he wanted it to be.

"I just have a package for you Mr. Murdock." A nurse unlocked the door, and set the box next to the door frame, and quickly left and locked the door again. She avoided being in the room for long. Murdock didn't blame her. If a patient got angry, a staff member could be seriously hurt, or even killed. They say a crazy man has the strength of ten. Murdock didn't think he would go crazy and hurt someone, but he didn't really trust himself at the moment. His mind felt like it was sputtering out of control. He didn't have anything to ground himself to. He couldn't get his bearings.

Murdock didn't go near the package. He knew it was harmless, but his mind imagined a green forest around it, and plenty of dead bodies. His mind told him it was a bomb. He sat on his bed, waiting for it to go off, glad for it to end.

The captain waited and waited, but nothing happened.

"Pull it together Murdock, it's just a package!" the pilot scolded himself. He cautiously placed his sneakers on the tiled floor. He took shaky, calculated steps towards the box. As he was arms length away, he took a deep breath and ran a hand through his wild hair. "Let's see what we got in here…"

Murdock gingerly lifted the medium size box off the floor and carried it back to his bed with him. He studied the cardboard, noticing the generic stamps, and not seeing a return address label.

Murdock spent about ten minutes trying to take off all the tape. The hospital didn't give the patients scissors or pens or anything like that. They thought the patients would try to kill each other. Once he got the box open, he studied the contents inside.

The first thing he pulled out was a navy blue, baseball cap, taped to it was a letter. Murdock took the letter off and held it in his right hand, while he studied the hat in his left. Wondering why he had the package at all, he began to read the letter.

 _Happy Birthday Murdock!_ was the first thing it said.

"Birthday?" Murdock whispered in wonder. "It's my birthday?" Still holding the hat and letter, Murdock walked to his door and peaked out into the hall. If he strained his eyes, he could see the calendar the nurses usually had out on their desk. "December 20th…" Murdock said. Today was his birthday. He counted the number of days, but he had lost track of the actual day. That made Murdock smile. "Faceman remembered my own birthday, and I didn't!" Murdock chuckled, and made his way back to sit on his bed, and continued reading his letter.

 _I'm really sorry I can't make it for your special day. The military has it in for us. We need to lay low for a few more weeks. But I promise you that as soon as we have some room from the military I'll come bust you out and we'll celebrate!_

 _If I couldn't come see you myself, I knew I had to send you your present. I need to be honest with you, I feel kind of bad about this gift. I didn't have as much time as I would have liked to pick you out the perfect gift, but I knew you'd like this one._

 _Now please don't go on until you know what your gift is._

Murdock paused from reading and looked at that hat. He liked it. He need something to keep his wild hair out of his face. He set the letter down next to him, and combed his hair with his fingers. Then he pulled his new baseball cap on snuggly over his head. It was a perfect fit. Murdock couldn't keep the smile off his lips. Murdock picked up his letter and started reading again.

 _Hopefully you see that it's a baseball cap. When I saw it I immediately thought of you. I remember when we would eat our dinner and listen to that radio over in Vietnam. I remember the first night I saw you with it…_

Murdock laughed, remembering the moment well.

 _*The A-Team arrived at an American camp in the middle of Vietnam. The team needed some time to rest. They had been running through the forest for the last week, and they all just needed somewhere to sleep for a couple of days._

" _Okay guys, you all deserve the rest. Go set up some tents and rest, while I go talk to the other Colonels," Hannibal ordered his men. The three guys nodded their heads, thankful for the chance to relax._

 _BA set up the tent for himself and Hannibal, while Face and Murdock set up their own. It was so nice to see other americans, and people that didn't want to kill them. It felt so good not to have to look over their shoulders._

" _Murdock, I'm going to go track down some food, you want to come with me?" Face asked._

" _Umm…" Murdock thought about it. "If you get me some food too, I'll show you something cool," Murdock grinned._

 _As Face walked away, Murdock pulled a small radio out of his heavy pack. He clicked it on, sighing in relief that it still worked. The pilot pressed his ear up to the speaker and turned the tuner, searching for the right sound._

" _Yes!" Murdock whispered when he heard the right sound._

" _Here's your food Murdock," Face said, sitting crisscross applesauce on the ground next to the pilot. He handed him a plate covered in some kind of mush (most likely potatoes and chicken) and a tin cup filled with very weak coffee. "What do you have to show me?" Face inquired._

" _Listen to this!" Murdock grabbed his food as he turned up the volume on the portable radio._

" _Home run! Listen to that crowd folks! As Al Kaline for the Detroit Tigers hits another home run! With that, the Tigers lead, 3 to 2 against the New York Yankees at the top of the 6th inning!" the announcer crackled over the radio._

" _Murdock!" Face gasped. "Is that a baseball game?" Face let his mouth hang open in disbelief. "On a radio?"_

" _You bet!" Murdock let his southern drawl come through a bit thicker. "I managed to smuggle it in!" Murdock had a grin that could light up all of Vietnam._

" _This is incredible!" Face boasted. He picked up his fork and started eating again, getting over his surprise about the radio._

" _Best part is they got another game tomorrow. How these work is they record the whole program, then of course, it's live, but we're listening to a replay. They're going to play yesterday's game on the air tomorrow." Murdock just kept on grinning at Face._

" _This really is something!" Face still could not believe himself. "Thanks Murdock. This really helps with all the stress." Face returned the pilot's grin, and the pair enjoyed their meal, and the baseball game.*_

Murdock laughed as he remembered the look on Face's face. The absolute shock and disbelief was hilarious. With a smile put back on his face, he kept reading the letter.

 _I was so shocked, but very happy. It was nice to have that little connection back to the US._

 _I got you a blank baseball cap because of what you told me the second day we listened to a game. When the game was over, I asked who your favorite team was._

Murdock didn't need to keep reading to know what Face was eluding to. That day was burned into his memory.

 _*Face handed Murdock his food as they sat down to listen to another game._

" _This is great Murdock! I thought one game was a blessing, but two, it's just too good to be true!" Face was all giddy. Murdock studied him for a moment. He had noticed before they had arrived at the ally camp, that Face looked much older than what he really was. The damn war had added wrinkles to his youthful skin. With each passing moment of the baseball broadcast, it seemed to take away those wrinkles, bringing back his look of innocence._

 _The magnificent game kept the two boys up talking long after it was over_

" _I was wondering who your favorite team was, Murdock," Face asked his friend, picking up the dishes from their dinner._

" _I don't have a favorite, Faceman, I just enjoy the game." Murdock grinned a sly smile, leaving the young lieutenant to think over his words.*_

Murdock remembered that day fondly. It was probably the only good day in the whole shitty war. With the goofy grin still plastered on his face he continued to read.

 _I left the hat blank because you told me you didn't have a favorite. This way I thought the hat didn't represent your love for one team, but it showed your passion for the whole sport._

Murdock set the letter aside once more and took off his hat.

"The whole sport…" the pilot whispered in amazement. He ran his fingers across the precious piece of clothing. With a smirk, Murdock placed the hat firmly on his head. Faceman really did understand him.

 _Also, I got it in blue because I know we've both seen enough green to last a lifetime._

Even though Murdock was reading it, he could still hear the hint of sadness in Face's voice.

 _I just want to say again I'm sorry I can't be there for your birthday. But I will come see you as soon as I can… I promise._

 _Anyway, the hat was the present, but I also included a box of cookies. I wasn't sure if a cake would make it through the mail service, so I thought I would be safe and send some cookies. They're your favorite, peanut butter!_

 _Once again, happy birthday, and I'll see you soon._ _-Face_

With his present from Face, Murdock began sleeping better, and the hospital hired new doctors. One in particular really helped Murdock move past seeing green everywhere. His name was Dr. Richter, and Murdock really liked him.

That hat was the key. It kept Murdock grounded to reality. It anchored him to what was real. It gave him a direct connection to his best friend, and Murdock really needed that.

Eventually, Face came back to break him out, and they celebrated big time. To this day, Murdock can't look at a cake without touching his stomach, to soothe the nausea.

* * *

It had been 10 years and 106 days. Murdock was still in the Veteran's Administration Psychiatric Hospital. Even though he was still stuck in the same place, Murdock didn't care. Today was better than what it had been like ten years ago. The flashbacks weren't as bad, and as long as he had his baseball cap, he knew he wasn't alone.

"Murdock!" The sudden shout brought him out of his thoughts. He snapped his head to his door and saw Face standing there in his doctor outfit. He was looking around for any real doctors or nurses. As soon as he saw another orderly he resumed his character. "I've come to transport you for your drug trial, Captain. Would you please come with me?" Face had a hard time containing his grin.

The pilot bounced off his bed and out into the hall with excitement.

"Wait! My hat!" Murdock shouted, patting his head. He ran back into the room, and emerged a second later wearing his blue navy baseball cap on top of his head.

Murdock caught Face's look as he beamed towards the hat. He was touched that Murdock still wore that cap, even ten years later.

"Sorry doc, it's my favorite. Wouldn't be able to keep my sanity without it. It gets kind of lonely here. This reminds me of my family." Murdock smiled softly at Face.

"As long as you have everything, let's go." Face kept his nose buried in his clipboard to hide his emotions.

The duo quickly left the hospital and hoped into Face's Corvette.

"Hey Face?"

"Yeah Murdock?"

"I just wanted to tell you that for all the days you couldn't be there, I knew you wanted to. And this hat reminds me when I get lonely or scared, that I have a brother that cares about me, so this hat gives me the power to be strong." Murdock tugged at the brim of his cap, his drawl coming in thicker. "So I wanted to say thank you, for being my brother Faceman. Thank you."

"Same goes for me Murdock. Same goes for me." With that, the pair pulled out of the parking lot, off to another mission.

 **Thank you for reading, please review and have a wonderful day.**


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